Grief Stricken

Yesterday was a rough day. To tell the truth, the tears started coming about 1:00 p.m. and continued off and on until I finally went to sleep last night. I was missing my sweet Momma. I found myself in the PIT of despair and I'm not being overly dramatic. I just couldn't' get myself together. Honestly, all I could feel was pain...the pain of being separated from my mother. All the cliques, good intentions, nice thoughts, even prayers didn't seem to bring me out of the funk I was in. I was like an inconsolable colicky infant. In the middle of my despair I wrote this poem...



I think I need to die

Lay down and not get up

To leave this world and sorrow behind

And walk into the waiting light

What kind of journey would it be

To leave this life behind

The hurt

The sorrow

The ache of loss

Swallowed up in death's bright light

To travel where my soul mates live

And are now complete

If not for the few I truly love

I would

Pray my soul to rest

I see the day I'll long to take that flight

The day my loss is complete



First of all, don't think I'm suicidal. I'm not. And don't feel sorry for me. I don't need pity. I just had a bad day. I had a day of grief. I shared this with you because I want you to know I know how you feel. You aren't alone. I want you to know even after the darkest night, the sun comes up. After the darkness, I rise up and meet the day.

18 For I consider that our present sufferings cannot even be compared to the coming glory that will be revealed to us. 19 For the creation eagerly waits for the revelation of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility—not willingly but because of God who subjected it—in hope 21 that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers together until now. 23 Not only this, but we ourselves also, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we eagerly await our adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with endurance.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how we should pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes on behalf of the saints according to God’s will. 28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, 29 because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 Indeed, he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, freely give us all things?
Romans 8:18-32

Sometimes answers don't come fast but they always come because He is faithful.